The reason you are not successful

Why are you not successful?

We all see the world differently. There is always someone whose opinion contradicts yours, and you think, How is it possible they think this way? It’s because we are all brought up differently by our parents. We learn our parents’ values and beliefs that were shaped by their upbringing, and this behaviour and thought pattern is passed down to you. As you go through schooling, you associate with new people and friends, and your experiences with them shape the way you think. They say you are like the five people you hang around with most. If you hang around five people who are loose with their money, you’ll be the sixth; if you hang around five addicts, you’ll be the sixth; if you hang around five people who continuously break the law, you’ll be the sixth.

The power of your environment is strong, and this is what shapes you from a young age and continues to shape you throughout life. In a circus, baby elephants are tied to a pole in the middle of the room. This pole can’t be moved by the baby elephant, as they are not strong enough, and what they learn in this environment is “I can’t move if I’m connected to this pole.” Once they become a fully-grown adult, they are strapped to this same pole.

Even though they have the strength to pull out the pole and run free, in their mind, they still have the same limiting belief they can’t move if they’re tied to the pole.

Are you limiting yourself? Let me ask you a question: How high can you put up your hand? Do this right now. Put the book down and raise your arm as high as you can. Okay. Did you limit yourself during this exercise? Was it as high as you really could go? Did you sit there and raise your hand lazily in the air? Most people do it this way. We do the bare minimum without wondering, “What’s the most I can do?” You could’ve raised your hand much higher. You have the option of standing on a chair, table, climbing a ladder, or jumping on an aeroplane and chucking that right arm high in the air. Through your upbringing, your default may be set to doing the minimum instead of what’s possible. When we are brought up like that, we learn to admire the people who learned not to limit themselves by the small town they live in. Not by their disabilities. Not by the government or any other circumstance. You are capable, and you are talented. You just need to realise this and be brave enough to do more than you usually would.

In life, we tend to get more of what we think about than what we don’t. Environment, as we established, is a big part of this, and how you are shaped tends to drive our focus. The big idea in our mind is what pulls us in the directions we go through in a day. We unconsciously make these decisions based on the primary goal, like our bodies function to keep us alive without a thought. Our deep goals and focus operate like a missile system, locked onto a target and launched straight for it. It may have factors to overcome like wind, rain, or the target moving, but it stays locked until its objective is reached. This is the way we think. If your main focus is to survive, you will do what it takes to survive. If you are focused to thrive, then that’s what you will unconsciously strive for.

Let me show you the power of focus. Right now, I want you to look around the room for anything with the colour blue. I want you to remember as many things as you can that are blue. Now, close your eyes…tell me everything in the room that was maroon.

How did you do? This is how focus works. If your attention is split between multiple colours, you’re bound to miss some. There are just too many. But if you prioritise one colour over them all, your brain will block out everything but that colour. This is the power of focus, and if used correctly with your goals for life, you will succeed. That’s why it is important to get rid of distractions, such as Facebook, Instagram, and other social media. They hurt your focus and take you off the path of achievement. Imagine if you blocked out everything that didn’t matter to your desired goal and this tactic improved your focus. How much could you achieve? With this new way to leverage your focus, could you become the person you’ve always wanted to be? Sure, you can. It’s important to look ahead and establish who you want to be, as the decisions you make every day get you closer or further away from where you want to be.

Is there someone you admire who you’d love to trade places with for a day? Study this person and their habits and try implementing them into your life. Oprah, Jeff Bezoz, and Tony Robbins have said their journey to becoming the person they are today began with the simple task of deciding what they wanted, writing it down, and sticking it up where they would see it each morning before starting their day. When they walk out the door, it’s fresh in their mind—“Yes, this is what I’m striving for today”—and as the day goes on, they consciously or unconsciously make decisions to move them forward each moment.

Do you have any idea what you want to achieve in life? What is your daily focus? Write it down now or take thirty minutes to figure this out and make a start. Once you have determined who you want to be, you need to make it clear and realise the person you are right now is not the person you need to be. It’s a false common belief we are who we are and, therefore, stuck this way.

We have our talents, but if we want to be something more, we have to upskill and work on ourselves. You will need to work and get uncomfortable. If you are not uncomfortable and being challenged during any part of the day, you are not growing. We do not grow in comfort, but in challenging conditions that test our character, strengths, and weaknesses. This is how we learn more about ourselves and determine how to get better. This is why in business, competition is necessary, as you must get better than the competition to become the best. You must struggle and test yourself.

Do this:

• How high are your standards?

• What would be the lowest standard for your life?

• What do your standards need to be to get the life you want?

Focus Test (Reminder):

What we focus on is what we get. Remember the colour exercise from earlier. When you focused on one colour, you found it all around you, and when you closed your eyes, it was difficult to recall any other colours.

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